Lately I have walked
around with stung emotions which I have let fester and in result they have
become bitter and distasteful. I bypassed them fore I believed they would just
fade away but each time I would hear their names or see their faces and knowing
what they have done and or said about myself, my husband or my son hurt all
over again.
I have come to the realization that though you may be related you certainly are not family. Those
who truly love and respect you, who are excited when you have happy news, who
understands what you have been through, who make the effort to really know you
as a person; it doesn’t matter what car you drive, how large of a home you
reside in, what social circles you mingle through or the astronomical number of
extra-curricular activities your children are in; they adore your immediate
family, quirks and all.
These hurtful feeling
came to a head yesterday and I began to cry. For the longest time I have been
trying to “prove” myself in some odd way to these people. Show them that no
matter what they say they can’t break my spirit but yet here I am, upset,
crying and offended.
My closet is my quiet
praying place so I sat there on my floor, weeping and praying. I prayed for God to
take these unhappy feelings away. I wanted retribution but was trying to do it
my way and that is not how it works.
I turned to 2
Thessalonians and there it was in bold black lettering
Justice Is On The Way
(from The Message)
We’re so proud of you; you’re so steady and determined in your faith
despite all the hard times that have come down on you on.
He’ll even up the score by settling accounts with those who gave you
such a bad time
He is proud of me
My son is proud of me
My husband is proud of me
My parents are proud of me
That is what matters.
And for those who
have spoken ill of me or my child will have to deal with their own sour tongue
one day; that is not on me.
When I heard the
church bells toll early this morning I smiled, inhaled deeply and felt….light.
God made me His “heart
on the sleeve” daughter, I will not change that. I am passionate and grateful
for those in my life and those people deserve my praise and attention not those
that bring un-pleasantries and misery.
Concentrate on the
light and let go of the dark for they are like murky water, they will only
bring you under.
